Sunday, August 9, 2009

Perceptions of Self - How You See and Treat Yourself is Expressed in Your Reality - Part 1

Many individuals do not recognise that their self-esteem or self-worth needs improving. As long as they have the personal good looks, status and material needs they think that is all that they need for success and no one else is the wiser to what is going on in their inner world! It goes deeper than an outer faade. Self-esteem and self-image is an outer reflection on their inner level of self-love and self-worth. Their level of worth is expressed in their quality of life, within their experiences and what is happening in their reality.

Human self-esteem problems, issues and challenges can be broken down into four primary categories:

1. Recognise and address your issue
2. Acknowledge and respect yourself
3. Stand your ground with assertion and empowerment
4. Release disempowering events, things and people

Let's take a look at each individual category:

1. Recognise and address your issue. The most important factor for you to be able to raise your self-esteem is for you to uncover the issue that is giving you a low self-worth in the first place. Nobody and nothing outside of you can do it for you. Dressing well and living in a nice environment only addresses a perception of your worth on the outside - it is a faade, if you have imbalances within you, or conflicts with those you live and work with, you are just covering up an unfinished business. Even if you are successful at your work, your life's experiences, your health and the quality of your relationships will tell you how much self-love, self-worth and self-acceptance you have. Once you realise that you have a low self-worth you must be ready and willing to do something about it.

2. Acknowledge and respect yourself. You need to be aware that you attract to you what you are within. You need to acknowledge yourself, accept yourself, love yourself, honour all of your experiences and choices without regrets and to have compassion for yourself etc. Eg. If you do not respect yourself, you will attract others to you who will treat you in a very disrespectful manner. You were born with 100% worth and that is up to you to claim your worth. A lower self-esteem or worth is due to allowing others to belittle you, to influence you into thinking that you are not 'good enough' or you do not deserve to be, do or have something. You have taken on their old truths as your own. You now believe that you are unworthy, it is an old truth and that is how people will treat you. If you feel that you don't deserve, or are unworthy or you do not love yourself in anyway - it is a truth that you have formed, your masquerade story, which is now your lie. It is only your perception on how you see yourself and therefore how you treat yourself either with belittlement emotionally or physically. How you see and treat yourself is reflected back to you as 'like attracts like' scenario in your health, relationships and abundance aspects.

3. Stand your ground with assertion and empowerment. Once you make a conscious choice to raise your self-esteem and self-worth - be alert to sabotage or you will retreat from exploring this empowering journey fully. The level of your self-worth also relates to the level of your assertion and empowerment. Once you begin to practice self-worth strategies you will soon develop more assertion and empowerment qualities. You will not be so timid in standing your ground towards others manipulations. Once you begin to stand your ground, your family, friends and workmates may dislike it as your personality-identity changes. The sabotage is: when you have a low self-worth, people usually walk all over you and when you hold high regard for yourself and honour yourself and stand in your power, you will not allow them to wipe their feet on your worthy doormat. This can create a conflict in your relationships and you are in danger of retreating if you are not prepared to get out of your comfort zone and 'stand alone'. Change may cause a conflict in the beginning, but if there is unconditional love present with that relationship they will come around to support you, otherwise they will leave your life, because they cannot get what they want from you. If you give up on continuing to raising your level of worth due to family or social challenges, you can retreat back into appeasement, obligation and compromise. If you are not prepared to release anything and anyone who is feeding off you or stealing your energy in order to support their self-absorbed needs you may stop trying to improve your perception of self. That means, if anyone who cannot support you and allow you to choose your own journey, those who do not respect you for who you are and who you can become or those who try to control you through their agendas to get what they want - let them go, they don't serve you in an empowering way. That is conditional love.

4. Release disempowering events, things and people. The greatest gift anyone can give to you whilst you are choosing to raise your self-worth and your consciousness is their love and support - with compassion but without judgement and agendas - no matter what you choose to do, even if it seems a silly or wrong choice for them. Whatever path you choose to walk down is appropriate for you, for that is what you need to experience to develop your growth and awareness.

True compassion is not just about sadness and pity - it is allowing you to choose your journey without others trying to control you, without others trying to change you or to enforce their righteous ways upon you. Having an agenda or expectation of trying to enforce and change you or what they think you should be, do or have, places limitations and controls onto you. They will disempower you if you allow others to control you, which will result in you retreating into submission or resisting and rebelling with conflicting drama games. Any self-absorbed limitation combined with conditional love suffocates relationships - causing conflict and breakdowns within relationships, as well as your health and abundance levels. This also means that you need true compassion for yourself for all the choices and experiences that you have had. To be able to raise your self-esteem is to release anything or anyone who does not serve your growth.

As you let go of things or people who do not serve you, you may feel that you are left stranded or alone with only a few to support you. As you stand in your power, you will attract other people into your life who will respect you for who you are, you will attract new relationships based on unconditional love into your life and you will attract more abundant opportunities.

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