Train Your Brain

- Internet Business Strategies By Quentin Brown

I have learnt over the past few years that it is not just a matter of developing your skill base that determines whether you are going to succeed with an Internet business.
The way you think and the thoughts you allow to populate your brain are just as important if not more so. When I started my business I read everything and went to every site I could. I ended up with information overload.

Over the last few months I have learnt to focus my thoughts on what I really want to achieve and this has been of great benefit. I am no longer looking for the next great program to come along to lead me to success. I am looking for specific sites and information, because I’m looking for particular things.
I never thought that training my brain would produce such a great wealth of information or make building a business so easy. You see, once you set down your goals and develop a business plan, you actually free up a lot of your time.

Have you heard that the mind cannot tell the difference between real experience and imagined experience - that it reacts the same to both real and imaginary events?
Well, it's true! And you can use this principle to your enormous advantage.
Back in the fifties, researchers at one college tested the power of imagining by pitting three different groups of students against each other shooting baskets.
They tested a large number of students for their skill at shooting baskets while standing at the free throw line. From this large group of students they formed three smaller groups of equal size and of equal skill, statistically. All three groups shot about the same percentage of baskets at the start.

Group No. 1 was the control, so for the next couple of weeks, they didn't do any practice at all. They were not to even go into the gym.
Group No. 2, meanwhile, went to the gym and practiced doing free throws for 20 minutes every day.
Group No. 3 also practiced for 20 minutes every day, but they didn't touch a basketball. Each one of the students was instructed to practice only in their heads. They were to imagine shooting free throws for that 20 minutes, but to engage in no actual hands-on practice at all.
At the end of that couple of weeks, Group No. 1, which had not done any practice, showed no improvement at all. When re-tested, their scores were identical to their earlier ones.
Group No. 2, which had practiced in the gym with actual balls, shooting real free throws, tested 20% above their earlier scores.

The big surprise, however, was Group No. 3, which tested 19% better.
You can actually learn a skill by practicing it in your head.
Is there anything you're not good at, but you want to be?
Just play it over and over in your mind. See yourself doing the new activity successfully. It WILL stick with you.
I had a friend years ago who told me that when he was in the Air Force, he learned to pilot a jet fighter by getting layout drawings of all the cockpit instruments and practicing flying in his imagination until he felt confident.
Of course he was already well qualified with other aircraft, but as any pilot who has ever taken the controls of a fighter will tell you, this is a different beast altogether. You don't just jump from a transport to a fighter. It takes many, many hours of hands-on training.
But my friend, on his first time up, flew the plane well enough not to disgrace (or endanger) himself.

Boxers imagine fighting their opponents over and over for hours before important matches. This has been called shadow boxing.
I had to give my first talk at a conference a few months ago so I asked many speakers how to do it. One speaker I really respect told me that I knew my topic very well so all I needed to do was to get out the first sentence. He said get that down pat and the rest will follow and you know what? He was right.
I was so nervous when I saw the large crowd that I squinted my eyes and got out the first sentence that I had go over and over till it was second nature and the rest followed.
Salesmen practice answering questions and objections. The more they practice, the better prepared they are when they're finally with a customer. That's the way to build familiarity with any new situation, and familiarity breeds confidence.
Every world-class athlete, every outstanding salesman, every top executive can tell you that the higher up the ladder they go, the more important the mental, imaginary, part of their preparation becomes.
If it's good enough to help them set world records, earn fortunes and become household names, what can it do for you?

Just imagine!

http://www.spiritualideas.com/blog/

Living Congruently

By Steve Pavlina

Do you tend to compartmentalize all the different areas of your life? Career goes there, relationship goes here, spirituality fits there, and health … well, that’s neither here nor there.
Or maybe your compartmentalizing is temporal instead of spatial in your thinking. During the workday you do what you must, this evening you’ll do what you love and have some fun, and on Sunday you’ll think about what it means.
Or perhaps you experience a feeling of compartmentalizing thought vs. action: “I’m spending X% of my time thinking and Y% of my time acting.”

When you view your life as a series of different compartments, each with different rules, then life gets pretty complicated. Trying to achieve balance is very difficult because you constantly feel the need to task switch. My relationship needs attention. Oh no, I’ve been neglecting my health. I need to work harder. I’ve got to stop thinking so much and take more action.
The different “bins” of your life are all fighting for your time. And the longer you neglect one of those bins, the louder it gets and the harder it will fight for attention. Put off your health for too long, and you’ll crash with an illness. Put off your relationship for too long, and a breakup may be the result. Put off your work, and your career and income will suffer.
This is a paradigm that many people share. Keep all your balls in the air. Keep all those plates spinning. Don’t let your spiritual beliefs interfere with your work.
But I think it’s a broken paradigm. Let’s consider a different way of thinking….
What if your life had only one bin, one ball to juggle, one plate to spin. Just one. No need to deal with 10 different areas of your life and keep them all balanced. Just one.
How is this possible? It’s possible if all of those different areas of your life are congruent, if they all follow the same rules. Then thought and action are one, both pointing in the same direction. They’re on the same path. Your work is congruent with your most deeply held spiritual beliefs — you don’t have to take your spirituality offline when you go to work. Improving your health improves your relationship. Increasing your income increases your service.
This means moving from a paradigm of the different parts of your life being in conflict to a new paradigm where they all cooperate. Instead of seeing each part of your life as independent, you begin to see them as interdependent. And isn’t this a more accurate model anyway? Can you truly isolate each part of your life as something separate? Can you abuse your health and think it won’t affect your career or your relationships? Do you think your feelings about your relationship won’t affect your financial situation? Can you ignore your spiritual beliefs when making business decisions and expect no negative consequences?

It seems obvious that all the different parts of your life are deeply interconnected. But a common way to treat problems is to try to isolate them. If there’s a problem with your health, you need to diet and exercise. If there’s a problem in your career, it’s time to work harder. But this isolation protocol doesn’t work well because there’s too much overlap between all the different parts of your life, no matter how much you try to isolate the problem areas and go to work on them.
It’s often the case that the obvious cause of the problem isn’t the true source. If you feel lonely because you haven’t been able to find the right relationship, and you keep trying harder and harder to find a relationship, you may get nowhere. The problem may be that you work at a career you aren’t passionate about, and you project this lack of passion to everyone you meet. And still a deeper issue may be that your spiritual beliefs tell you that service to others is very important, but you don’t feel you’re doing that. Then you change careers to do what you love, and it aligns with your spiritual beliefs because now you feel you’re contributing and serving. Then out of nowhere, you meet your future spouse, who is attracted to your passion about your work and the contribution you’re making. And the encouragement you experience from this relationship in turn helps you advance your career, increase your income, and free up more time to spend with your new spouse. Your stress goes down, and your health improves too. Your inner spiritual conflict was the real source of your inability to find the right relationship. Everything is deeply interconnected.
Although it seems that each part of your life follows different rules, they all follow the same rules. You may have different values for each part of your life, but the rules that govern those areas don’t change.

An example of an unchanging rule is kindness. The concept of kindness should resonate with your spiritual beliefs. You can be kind to your body, and your health will improve. You can be kind to your co-workers, and your relationships with them will improve. You can be kind to your spouse, and your marriage will grow stronger. You can be kind to a stranger, and your self-esteem will increase. It doesn’t matter to which area of your life you apply the principle of kindness. Its application is universal.
Another universal rule is being proactive, assuming personal responsibility for results and taking positive action. It doesn’t matter where you apply this rule: health, relationships, emotions, spiritual beliefs, career, business, money, etc. Being responsible works no matter where you apply it.
Cheating is another universal principle. No matter where you apply it, the long-term results are negative. Cheat your health, and pay the price of sickness. Cheat in your relationship, and the cost is a loss of intimacy. Cheat in your education, and your income suffers.
But more powerful than these intra-area effects, there’s the rippling effect due to the interrelatedness of all areas. So if you apply a universal principle in one area, either positively or negatively, it ripples into all other areas. If you cheat your health, then in the long run this will hurt your career, your relationships, your finances, your emotional state, and your sense of spiritual connectedness. You can’t cheat in one area of your life without suffering the consequences in ALL areas.

Similarly, be kind to your body, and your increased positive energy will positively affect your relationships, your work, your finances, your emotions, etc. Be proactive about building a career you enjoy, and your passion will spread to every other area.
If you violate a universal principle, it negatively impacts all areas of your life. If you follow a universal principle, it positively impacts all areas of your life. Universal principles don’t compartmentalize.
So the key then is figuring out these universal principles and aligning your thoughts and actions with them. This is how you achieve congruence between all the different parts of your life.
So what are the universal principles? Stephen Covey claims that the 7 Habits of Highly Effective People are based on universal principles. I tend to agree, and that’s a good place to start. But I think all of these principles can be reduced to just one: to love. Not the passive squishy emotional feeling of love, but “to love” — the action verb. To love your body translates into proper diet and exercise. To love your mind equates with learning. To love others is service. To love your work is to do it passionately and enthusiastically. To love your feelings means to respect and honor the messages they send you. This verb translates into different specific actions for each area, but the underlying principle is the same. Depending on the situation, “to love” may mean to listen, to serve, to work, to relax, to touch, and so on.

When you start injecting universal principles into every area of your life, alignment will gradually occur. The parts of your life will be transformed such that all these different pieces assemble themselves into one congruent whole. You won’t feel like these different parts of your life are in competition for your time and attention. Instead you’ll feel a sense of internal cooperation. You will have a sense that exercising your body is the best thing for your health and your relationship and your career and your spirituality.
Within each area you’ll either adapt your current circumstances to align with universal principles, or you’ll let go of all the misaligned pieces and start fresh. So your career may shift slightly as you adapt, or you may switch to a whole new career. Your old relationships may transform, or they may end while you seek out new ones. It just depends on how well the external parts of your life are able to align with who you are.

Alignment comes down to working on these four questions until they all produce the same answer:
* What do you want to do? (desire)
* What can you do? (ability)
* What should you do? (purpose)
* What must you do? (need)
When these four areas are aligned, motivation occurs automatically. Thought and action are automatically balanced because you are living your purpose consciously. You won’t feel like you should be thinking when you’re acting or acting when you’re thinking. The line between thought and action will disappear. Being and doing will become the same thing.
When you experience misalignment between these four areas/questions, the natural tendency is to slow down… sometimes to a crawl. You’ll feel like you have all these ideas pulling you in different directions, but you aren’t fully satisfying any of them. Your mind knows that continuing to work hard is likely to be futile and won’t solve the real problem of incongruence. It knows it’s time for you to stop, ask directions, and choose the path of alignment.
I went through this while running my games business. While I had many projects to grow the business, I knew deep down that I didn’t want to run that business for another decade. I was containerizing everything: my health over here, my relationship there, my work here, and my spirituality there. Each part of my life felt like it had its own set of rules. Eventually I started questioning whether this was the best way to live. Are we supposed to live like a collection of parts or as an integrated whole? I wondered whether it would be possible to live in such a way where there was only one set of rules governing all areas, essentially meaning that I followed my deepest spiritual beliefs in all matters. This line of questioning led me to discover just how it might be possible for all these different parts of my life might become a single, integrated whole. This would mean that my business and my conscience and my interpersonal relationships were all one. There would be no sense of separation.

In order to go through this process, I had to transform certain parts of my life while totally shifting others. I tried to transform my career initially from within, but the disconnect was big enough that it required a more dramatic shift. Other parts of my life were able to adapt more flexibly. The main reason for my shift away from my games business was that it wasn’t a strong enough outlet for service for me. I think that given enough time, the original business could have been shifted, but that wasn’t the best route for me too take. It was faster and simpler to build a new business from scratch with the goal of congruence in mind than to try to refactor the existing business.

I must say that this push for congruence in all areas turned out beautifully. I don’t feel that sense of separation between the different parts of my life anymore. My purpose says I’m here to serve and help people. My ability says I can do it through writing and speaking and running a web site. My needs say I must support myself doing it. And my passion says it’s what I love doing most. I don’t have to separate supporting myself with a job and then having fun on the weekends and thinking about spirituality at other times. Work = play = love.
When you live congruently, it’s as if all the different parts of your life lock into new positions to form a new whole that’s greater than all the individual pieces. Everything grows stronger: health, relationships, motivation, actions, results, etc.

I know that as a practical matter, it seems as though different rules often govern in different areas. Separating your spiritual beliefs from your work is very common. A lot of businesses seem to operate on the assumption that universal principles don’t exist. I don’t buy that at all. There are non-universal principles that apply just within their own domains (the rules of nutrition apply to your health but not to your work, for instance), but universal principles apply to all areas. I think that one’s spiritual beliefs are the single most important factor in choosing a career or a company to work for. If you have a deeply held belief that you hold sacred, you cannot violate it in any area of your life without suffering the consequences in all areas. You must be true to your inner self at all times. That’s the only way to be congruent and to live as a whole person instead of merely as a bag of competing parts.

When you live congruently, a quantum leap will occur in each of these four areas. Desire becomes passion. Purpose becomes mission. Need becomes abundance. Ability becomes talent. And it becomes almost ridiculously easy to achieve fulfillment in every area then because all the parts are working together in the same direction.

Four Ways To Achieve Great Results

Improve Your Self-Confidence

Seven Tips to Financial Success

How To Get The Body You've Always Wanted

By Shawn LeBrun
In just a moment, I am going to give you the key that will unlock any fitness goal you may have now or any goal you may have in the future.

It is the secret to permanent fat loss, muscle gain, and getting an incredible physique.
No magic, no potions, no screaming "Eureka, I've Found It!" No fluff, just a fact.
Are you ready for this key, the one that will unlock the door to becoming the best bodybuilder you possibly can be?
O.K. here it comes. Want to sit down for it? The key to getting the body you've always wanted is:
**You choose to!**

Huh?
Yes, getting in shape, being more muscular and stronger than most people is simply a choice that you make.
In fact, I could end this article with that said (some of you probably wish that I would ;-)
Anything you want in life, any goal or desire can be yours if you simply choose to go after it. Things just do not fall into place naturally and without effort.
Yes, they do fall, just not where you want them to. You must first "think" of what it is you want and then choose to go after it.
And if you do not get what you want? Try it again.
Like the back of the shampoo bottle says, "Lather, Rinse, Repeat." Keep at it until you kill it and claim it.
Forget blame. Forget victim talk. Forget excuses.
If you want it, choose to get it. After you choose it, if you are persistent enough and work hard enough, whatever you wish for can be yours.

Want to shed some body fat? Choose to.
Want to gain muscle mass? Choose to.
Increase your strength or start eating better? Choose to.
Life boils down to a series of choices. The better choices you make, the better your life will be.
You can choose to do cardio or you can choose that piece of cheesecake. You can choose to get behind the wheel after drinking or you can choose to hand the keys to a friend.
Some of the choices you make have a long lasting and dramatic impact on your life forever.
So, for any of the young aspiring bodybuilders out there, I guarantee if you make better choices now, you will cut out years of trial and error!
Bottom line, if you choose to go after something, you can be assured that it's within your reach because others have already accomplished it.

Any problem that you may face in life, chances are that someone has faced it and has already battled and conquered it. Just follow what it is they did to come out on top.
If getting the body you've always desired is one of your priorities, you can rest assured that many others have already done it.
So the question of whether or not it's possible is not an issue. It's just your turn to go get it.
The choices we make dictate the lives we lead. Where you are today is the result of all the choices you have made up to this point.
If you want better, you must make better choices. You can either move ahead or stay behind.
The choice is yours.

http://enlightenment14u.blogspot.com/

Religion and Spirituality Information

Spirituality, in a narrow sense, concerns itself with matters of the spirit. The spiritual, involving (as it may) perceived eternal verities regarding humankind's ultimate nature, often contrasts with the temporal, with the material, or with the worldly. A sense of connection forms a central defining characteristic of spirituality — connection to something greater than oneself, which includes an emotional experience of religious awe and reverence. Equally important, spirituality relates to matters of sanity and of psychological health. Like some forms of religion, spirituality often focuses on personal experience (see mysticism).

Spirituality may involve perceiving life as higher, more complex or more integrated with one's world view; as contrasted with the merely sensual.
A common theme of spirituality in many traditions, is thus the path, work, practice, or tradition of perceiving and internalizing one's true nature and relationship to the rest of existence (ie, God, creation, or life), and of becoming free of the lesser egoic self (or ego) in favor of being more fully ones true Self.

The Universal Connection

By: Jesse S. Somer

Do you believe in random coincidence? Or, do you think that there is some destiny involved when things magically 'come together'? I believe in a phenomenon I have been known to call a 'Universal connection'. Yesterday one of these destined occurrences deeply affected the mood I was in and took me from feeling pretty low and depressed to feeling a joyous epiphany. Let me tell you about what happened. You see, I don't believe in random, arbitrary coincidences. My understanding is that life is a combined relationship between humanity's freewill, and the will of a higher power who I call 'The Great Spirit". I believe in a paradoxical type of destiny that is both preordained by this higher power, but also can be altered by our own decisions that we make every moment of everyday.

Opportunities and obstacles are presented and then we are to decide whether or not to take any specific action relating to the situation.O.K. So yesterday I wasn't feeling very well; I have a history of depression and anxiety and I perceived a few events that happened to me as being quite negative. Well it just so happens that the day before I had been sent an email from my Tai Chi instructor that had some links that related to depression, as they know of my problem. I looked at one site that was about some new form of neurotechnology where listening to a certain type of C.D. is supposed to send one's mind into a deep state of meditation.

I am admittedly skeptical about this sort of thing as of course money is always supposed to exchange hands. The good thing about this particular site is that they offer a free sample C.D. of which I ordered.Anyhow, I started to peruse over the information on this site and I came across some quotes by famous people. One that struck me was by a Rabbi Hillel and as my good friend at work is very interested in Jewish culture and religion, I cut and pasted it into Messenger for him to read. As I was feeling down, I left work early and went home to read some more of a book that I've really been enjoying lately. It's called 'Sacred Journey of the Peaceful Warrior' and is written by Dan Millman.

It's the sequel to a book I really loved entitled, 'Way of the Peaceful Warrior'. After reading for a chapter or two I came up to Chapter 17: 'Courage of the Outcast'. The chapter began with these words:If I am not for myself,Who will be for me? And if I am only for myself,What am I?And if not now, when?(Hillel, Sayings of the Fathers)This was the exact quote that I had sent to my friend earlier that day! Out of all the quotes in the world, out of all the chapters I could have read up to, out of all the days in my life; this quote came up twice in one day! I knew there must be a reason for it happening so with some help from my friend I did a little research today on the Internet. This quote has been translated from Hebrew so I have now come to see that it has been interpreted in many different ways. This is the general meaning that I have come to think that the words mean:'If I am not for myself, who will be for me?' relates to self-esteem.

It means that if you don't believe in the spiritual aspects of your Self and love yourself for your divine essence and not just your ego, then others will only see you as someone who hasn't truly formed an identity of your own. If you don't love and have faith in yourself, then others will naturally find it hard to love and have faith in you.'And if I am only for myself, what am I?' To me this is about then spreading your love and faith to others around you. It is very important to do things that will make you feel better about your own self-esteem, but just doing things for yourself is selfish. The best way to become a strong and happy person is through the service that we can do for others. We have to realize that others are just another form of ourselves, the 'I' that is intrinsic to all forms of life in the Universe (Great Spirit), and their well-being is just as important as our own. The last line, 'And if not now, when?' refers to action. It's all good and well to have this knowledge, but it is the act of putting it into action that is of greatest importance. Now is the only time that is truly real.

The past is gone and can never be lived again, while the future has not appeared yet and for some of us (while in human form) it won't ever come. Any second could be our last, so now is the time to put our knowledge and beliefs into work by integrating them into our every movement.I believe that these 'Universal connections' happen all around us everyday of our lives. We only have to focus our attention to see them; though sometimes they are so profound they will just jump right out and smack you in the face!

About the Author
Jesse S. SomerM6.Nethttp://www.m6.net/Jesse S. Somer is a human who is learning to remember that there is more to this life than meets the eye.

This real-life example shows that we can all find happiness and success

Courage to Change

By Ernest QuansahThis is a story about a woman we will call Anne, a thirty-five-year-old woman who concluded that she could never find a man. She determined that loneliness was her fate and thus went as far as accepting it as fact. Her case proves what I have discovered in advising single men and women: it does not matter what your circumstances are, every man or woman can and is able to find a happy relationship or reach their potential by making the right choices.Anne was a very beautiful and educated woman. Beneath her beauty were a lot of problems that I never imagined. She had grown up in a family where she was led to believe that no man would ever want her. She was the best looking and best educated among her family members. Yet for many years she worked in the family business for minimum wage. The sad part was she was willing to work under those terms until the day she died, because she had accepted that she was the black sheep of the family.One of the ideas I suggested to Anne, to help her to stop thinking she would never find love, was to start dating.

ut she was even afraid to date. When the suggestion was made, Anne declined, saying, “But who wants me? No man will date a woman like me.” I tried my very best to let Anne know that she was a very attractive woman. All she needed to do was believe there was a man out there for her.She was so concerned that no man would accept her, the thought of having to start dating made her cry. I personally began feeling sorry for her. I could not understand why she was so afraid to venture outside. I finally reached a point where the only choice I had left in my attempt to help Anne was to give her an ultimatum. I told her: “Anne, you can do it. I am willing to help you but if you are going to come to me for advice, only to make one excuse after the other, then why bother? Don’t waste my time. Anne, you must try. Give guys a chance to take you out at least in the daytime. If you are concerned, tell someone about your date, your date’s name and phone number, where you will be going and what time you should be arriving home.“Don’t let your date pick you up from your mom’s house,” I told her. “Meet him somewhere in the open. This way he does not know where you live and you will not have to worry about him coming to look for you.” I proceeded to tell Anne that unless she was willing to try, I didn’t see any reason why she should continue coming to me for help.
At the same time, I knew a spiritual couple who were visiting from the U.S. I invited Anne to have dinner with me and the couple in the hopes that the woman could befriend Anne. Anne told me she didn’t have any friends. The only people she saw were myself and a couple of friends I had introduced her to. Unfortunately, none of them wanted to befriend Anne, because she was so negative about everything. People simply did not want to be around her. After the dinner was over, we all began to converse.I had tried to encourage Anne to leave home and be her own woman. As we talked after dinner, the woman began to share a story with Anne.

The woman told Anne: “Once there was an eaglet who grew up with ducks. When the eaglet grew strong wings to fly, the mother duck told the eaglet, ‘You hatched with ducks but you are not a duck. You are an eagle. Eagles don’t walk, they fly. So fly away to be with eagles...’ The eaglet replied, ‘No, I am not an eagle. I am a duck. I cannot fly.’ The mother duck told the eagle, ‘Yes, you are an eagle. You were hatched by a duck but you are an eagle. You can fly.’ The eaglet was so afraid to try it replied, ‘No, I cannot fly. I am a duck—if I try to fly, I will fall.’“The mother duck told the eaglet, ‘You are an eagle. You don’t belong here. Fly and be with your own kind and you will be much happier. Try, please try. Eagles fly, they don’t walk. You are an eagle. You can fly.’ The eagle thought for a minute. It began to stretch and flap its wings. It bounced around a little, then it jumped up and flew. As it lifted off the ground it realized it could fly and began to soar in the air.”We all sat and listened to this emotional story.

I know I wept and so did Anne. I cared about Anne so much. I wanted her to find happiness. Not long after and with a little encouragement and support, Anne moved out of her parents’ basement. She found her own apartment and a full-time job at a local hotel. She began to date and met a man who cared for her. Although it was difficult and frightening at first, Anne tried and when she did, she soared.This real-life example shows that we can all find happiness and success if we choose to make the choices and do the things that bring us happiness and success. Anne only found success when she left her comfort zone and tried. In your love life, the only way to experience true failure is if you don’t try, if you give up or try to hide behind excuses and justifications.The eaglet eventually flew with eagles instead of walking with the ducks. This means, for example in relationship, you can find love with your appropriate mate—not just any man or woman for the sake of having a lover. You can live your potential. But settling for unhealthy and mediocre relationships is not a way to find happiness. You can achieve your true potential in all things if do your part.You can tell from Anne’s story that despite her upbringing and life experiences, she was able to find happiness by making choices that brought her happiness. When Anne left her comfort zone (like the eagle leaving the ducks), she reached her potential. Do you make choices that bring you stress and disappointments? Do you settle for relationships that bring you misery? What is your emotional well-being worth to you? Decide the kind of life and relationships you want. Then you will know what you need to do.



Yoga Back to Spiritual Index How To Improve Your Spirituality

What Is Lateral Thinking?

by: Steve Gillman

What exactly is Lateral thinking? For starters, it's a word invented by Edward DeBono in 1967. At some point since then it became a part of the English language (it is in the Oxford English Dictionary and most others now). DeBono, on his official web site, says there are several ways to define it. Lateral thinking is a way of attacking problems from other angles, as opposed to the more traditional linear and logical ways. Debono uses chess as an example of where logic normally suffices, if the pieces are a given. Lateral thinking, however, acknowledges that in real life we mostly just assume the pieces are given, when really we need to change those pieces or look beyond them for the most useful solutions.

Lateral Thinking Puzzles Enough with the definitions. Here are a few lateral thinking puzzles instead. These will give you a good feel for what the term means, and let you practice this "out of the box" kind of thinking. Two Coins Bill is on a raft in the ocean with several other survivors of a shipwreck. The others are too weak, so he or Mike must swim to a nearby island to look for help. It's almost certainly suicidal, due to the circling sharks, but there is little else to hope for. Mike takes the lose change from his pocket and puts two pennies in a hat. He tells John that one is a 2005 penny, and the other 1975. If Bill picks the newer penny he can stay on the raft, and Mike will risk his life. If John picks the older penny, he must go. Bill has seen that both pennies were actually dated 1975, but he doesn't want to say anything, because Mike is a big guy.

How does he win, and get Mike to go, without exposing him as a fraud in front of the others? The Speech A well-known politician wrote a long speech. How did it help his career even before he gave the speech? The Convent John came to visit at a convent while the superior mother was out of town. He left before she returned, and was careful to leave nothing behind. The nuns said nothing about his visit, so how did the superior mother figure out that a man had been there? Switching On Your Lateral Thinking You are shown three switches outside a closed room. There are three lamps inside the room. You can flip the switches on and off as much as you want while the door remains closed, but then you must enter just once and determine quickly which switch is connected to which lamp. How can you do it? Solutions To The Lateral Thinking Puzzles Two Coins: Bill reaches into the hat and takes out either penny. He lets it slip out of his hand and fall into the ocean. Apologizing, he suggests that if the remaining penny in the hat is the 1975 one, he must have drawn the 2005 penny.

Mike cannot argue with the logic unless he wants to admit to lying. Since the others won't tolerate a liar anyhow, he makes the swim. The Speech: A true story solution: In 1912, President Teddy Roosevelt was shot in the chest. The folded-up manuscript of his speech was in his breast pocket, and slowed the bullet, saving his life, and so helping his career. The Convent: John left a toilet seat up. Switching On Your Lateral Thinking: Turn on the first one on for a minute, then turn it off and turn the second on. Enter the room and feel the two bulbs that are off. The warm one was turned on by the first switch, the light that is on is connected to the second, and the other to the third.

About The AuthorSteve Gillman has been studying brainpower and related topics for years. For more on How To Increase Brain Power, and to get the Brain Power Newsletter and other free gifts, visit: http://www.IncreaseBrainPower.com .

Change Your Attitude and Change Your Life

By Allan Kenyon

We've been told that attitude is everything. Is it really? Is everything we do successfully or unsuccessfully based on our attitude? The famous psychologist William James said, "The greatest discovery of any generation is that a human being can alter his life by altering his attitude."

Great advice. But the question is, how do we know if we need a change in attitude? If you are not living the kind of life that brings you satisfaction, joy, and abundance, then jump on the "Attitude Change Wagon" now.
Ponder this: When we change how we think about something, the thing we are thinking about changes. (Please read this sentence again.)
It's easy to say "Change your attitude and change your life" but how do you do that and how easy is it? You may not call it easy but it does not have to be difficult if you use a few proven strategies. If you desire to be happier, more joyful, have more abundance, have less stress, and want to really live your dreams, why not give these simple techniques a try?

Think of a person you know who has a great attitude. They are probably up-beat, they think in terms of possibilities, they are non-critical, they laugh often, and they are great to be around.
Check your attitude with the 'mirror technique'. Observe the reactions of the people you live and.work with throughout the day If they are less than open, a little down, or grumpy, that could be a reflection of your attitude. Attitudes are contagious.

Think with the end in mind. See yourself as that joyful, upbeat, successful, person you are on the way to becoming. Understand that everything you need in order to live your dreams is already here. Stop taking yourself so seriously. Look for the humor in all situations. Get busy giving someone else a helping hand.
Remember that things take time. In most cases you will get immediate results, but if you don't, DO NOT GIVE UP.

It will come.

If you are not getting the results you want in any area of your life, do an attitude check on yourself. Even better, have a friend give you some feedback on how you come across to others. This kind of knowledge is power. You can now flip the attitude switch to 'on' and change how you look at things so the things that you look at will change. You will then have an endless supply of Green Lights before you.

'I take nothing for granted. I now have only good days, or great days.' --Lance Armstrong

Jack Canfield America's Success Coach

is the cocreator of the Chicken Soup for the Soul® series, which includes 40 New York Times bestsellers, and coauthor with Gay Hendricks of You've GOT to Read This Book! An internationally renowned corporate trainer, keynote speaker, and popular radio and TV talk show guest, he lives in Santa Barbara, California.

You've GOT to Read This Book!: 55 People Tell the Story of the Book That Changed Their Life

There's nothing better than a book you can't put down—or better yet, a book you'll never forget. This book puts the power of transformational reading into your hands. Jack Canfield, cocreator of the bestselling Chicken Soup for the Soul® series, and self-actualization pioneer Gay Hendricks have invited notable people to share personal stories of books that changed their lives. What book shaped their outlook and habits? Helped them navigate rough seas? Spurred them to satisfaction and success?

The contributors include Dave Barry, Stephen Covey, Malachy McCourt, Jacquelyn Mitchard, Mark Victor Hansen, John Gray, Christiane Northrup, Bernie Siegel, Craig Newmark, Michael E. Gerber, Lou Holtz, and Pat Williams, to name just a few. Their richly varied stories are poignant, energizing, and entertaining. Author and actor Malachy McCourt tells how a tattered biography of Gandhi, stumbled on in his youth, offered a shining example of true humility—and planted the seeds that would help support his sobriety decades later.
Beloved librarian and bestselling author Nancy Pearl writes how, at age ten, Robert Heinlein's science fiction book Space Cadet impressed on her the meaning of personal integrity and gave her a vision of world peace she'd never imagined possible. Two years later, she marched in her first civil rights demonstration and learned that there's always a way to make "a small contribution to intergalactic harmony."
If you're looking for insight and illumination—or simply for that next great book to read—You've Got to Read This Book! has treasures in store for you.

The Value of Confidence

By Steve Pavlina

Last night I gave a speech called “The Value of Confidence,” which was about how to mentally put yourself into a state of confidence, feeling certain of success even when your knowledge suggests you should expect to fail. Delivering a speech like this puts an extra burden on the speaker, since it must be done with absolute confidence and certainty — otherwise the audience will easily detect the incongruency.

Even if you’re extremely skilled and talented, a lack of self-confidence can prevent you from performing at your best in pressure situations. For example, if you work in sales, it’s one thing to read a book and learn and understand some new sales techniques, but it’s a very different challenge to actually go out and apply those techniques when face-to-face with a prospect. The major limiting factor often isn’t a lack of knowledge or practice but rather the limiting belief that you can’t expect to perform well the first few times — a self-fulfilling prophecy.
Public speaking is a great example. Many people have the knowledge and skill to write a speech that an audience would enjoy, and when practiced in private, they may even do a decent job. But put them in front of an audience — or even just suggest the idea — and they quickly succumb to feelings of self-doubt and worry. However, if you take such people to a stage hypnosis show and they’re hypnotized, they’ll get up on state and perform wonderfully with no fear at all, even with no rehearsal or prepared material. Being under hypnosis doesn’t magically bestow any new skills, but it can put people into a state where they have full and unrestricted access to their best internal resources. What new endeavors might you be able to take on if you were hypnotized to belief with absolute certainty that you would succeed at them?
You may currently believe that confidence is the result of a history of success. While a history of success can certainly increase your confidence, you don’t actually need that history to feel confident. Confidence is a feeling of certainty, a natural inner resource that can be summoned whenever you want it.

The key to feeling confident lies in a quote from Albert Einstein: “Imagination is more powerful than knowledge.” Even when your knowledge tells you to expect failure, you have the ability to consciously direct your imagination to override that impulse and feel certain of success anyway. Most people let their imaginations run on autopilot, so they sometimes see themselves succeeding but they also worry about failure. This is like trying to drive a car by pushing the accelerator and the brake at the same time. To feel confident you must focus your mind to see only one outcome, the one of you performing at your very best. If you catch yourself worrying (aka mentally rehearsing failure), you need to immediately take your foot off that brake and focus on the accelerator. No matter how many times you catch yourself worrying or contemplating failure, just keep refocusing your mind on the image of success.
In order to avoid the problem of overconfidence, let your decision to condition a state of confidence be subservient to your logic, reason, and common sense. If you feel confident that you will perform well on a big new project and use this as an excuse to under-prepare, that’s a mistaken application of confidence. But there are times when you’ve done all you can intellectually, and now you need to get yourself into the most emotionally resourceful state possible. Whenever you have to perform under pressure is a good time to put yourself into a state of confidence: a speech, a sales call, an audition, an interview, an exam, etc.
So on the one hand, be careful not to over-rely on confidence to save you by using it as an excuse to procrastinate on prepartion. But on the other hand, it’s amazing just how far confidence alone can get you. When I was going through college, I often didn’t have as much time to prepare for exams as I would have liked. But I was really good at putting myself into a state of certainty of success right before the exam, regardless of how well-prepared I felt intellectually. And this state of confidence was often enough to allow me to perform well, even when I had barely studied the material. Because I expected to do well (via my imagination, not my knowledge), my subconscious mind found a way to fulfill that vision. Often this came in the form of creative solutions. For example, if I took a math test and didn’t remember the formula that was intended to be used to solve a particular problem, my subconscious mind would find an alternate way to solve the problem using what I did know — because I was in a state of total certainty of success, I had the fullest possible access to all my internal resources, including the ability to solve problems in ways I wasn’t consciously aware of.

Confidence is not a panacea. But being able to make yourself feel certain of success can give you a massive edge in many endeavors. Confidence is often the deciding factor in making a sale, closing a deal, acing a test, nailing an audition, getting a date, being hired or promoted, or making the team. And a lack of confidence can put you into the decrepit state where even though you have the intellectual resources to succeed, you don’t even make the attempt — you fail to ask for the sale, the raise, the date, etc. Sometimes just summoning the confidence to ask is all it takes to achieve a successful result.
What more could you accomplish if you added the tool of confidence to your arsenal of skills, consciously directing your imagination away from visualizing negative outcomes and 100% on creating a feeling of certainty of success?

P.S. My pre-ordered copy of Halo 2 was delivered earlier today. See you in a few days. :)

When You Think You Can

By Linda Salazar

How many times have you heard yourself say I can't, only to find that you really can and you did? It seems whenever we are faced with something that feels like it's beyond our ability we automatically go into the 'I can't do it' syndrome before we even consider the possibility that we really can. Too often we give up on ourselves before we even start having less faith in ourselves than others have in us or we have in others.
Recently, I was talking to a friend who did the 3 Day Avon Walk for Breast Cancer. The goal was 60 miles a day and her first thoughts after she arrived at the event were, "There's no way I can do this. I haven't prepared enough, I'm not in shape." Quite simply, she was scared and overwhelmed by the task ahead of her.
Well, three days later and two very sore, blistered feet, she did it, along with thousands of others, who probably echoed those same words before they started out. I can't speak for the thousands of others who completed the walk, but I know how proud and joyful my friend was when she was done. It was absolutely a monumental event in her life and I was thrilled for her and the accomplishment.
It's that joy and proud feeling that makes your journey from I can't, to I can, to I did, so worthwhile. You deserve to prove to yourself that you absolutely can move forward when faced with any circumstances that seem daunting and impossible.
Yes, your fears will show up when new opportunities present themselves and that's good! It means you're expanding yourself and the more you expand the more you build on your strengths. When you pull back from what you fear, you end up with an ongoing list of things to fear, which in turn, keeps you spending more and more time living in that fear and the world of I can't.
You simply need to embrace the fear, feel it, hear it, learn from it and then march on through to the other side. You are not your fears. Your desires, dreams, hopes, aspirations are who you are and you deserve all of them.
There will always be excuses as to why you can't and it's up to you to realize that's all they are, excuses. When you want something bad enough, when you know in your heart of hearts you've got to find a way, you will. You absolutely will. And, once you are in total alignment with the 'I CAN' through your thoughts, feelings, words and actions, you're just one step away from, I DID IT!

"If you think you can or you think you can't, you're right." -Henry Ford

Free Relationship Quiz - Committed Couples

By Glenn Cohen

This free committed couple’s quiz is designed to help you and your partner to assess your relationship. The quiz will assist you to identify problem areas such as communication, emotional reactivity, correctly arguing, the level of romance and your sexual relationship.
Thank you for your interest in taking the Committed Couples relationship assessment quiz. Please try to be objective and honest with yourself. I recommend asking close friends and family members for their opinions as well.
Rating Scale: Rate each item on a scale from 0 to 10.
8 - 10 – Good - This area of our relationship is strong and is an asset to us.
5 - 7 - OK - This area needs work and could create issues or problems, but most likely would not sabotage our relationship.
0 - 4 - Needs Work -This area needs serious attention and could interfere with the success of our relationship.
1- We Have Shared our Vision of the Relationship We have discussed the dreams and expectations we both have for our relationship and our future. We have been honest and shared our inner self, our fears, our unrealistic expectations and our fantasies. We both are present, listen and support each otherwhen we share all of these feelings and thoughts.We are both enthusiastic about our shared visionand living our lives as Partners for Life __________ - Enter your score: 0 – 10
2 – We Have Assessed Our RelationshipWe make the effort to be authentic and share our inner self with each other.We encourage each other to talk honestly about our convictions and are able to solve oursolvable problems in a safe and calm manner.We turn towards each other and not away.We love and accept each other unconditionally.__________ - Enter your score: 0 – 10
3 – We Know How to HaveSuccessful ConversationsWe take turns speaking and set time limits.We have soft startup, listen to each other, mirror and validate each others feelings and thoughts.We find common ground and knowhow to achieve a win-win agreement for us.We have safe and calm conversations.__________ - Enter your score: 0 – 10
4 – We Know How to Argue The Right WayWe know the right and wrong time to start a conversation.We know how to have a soft startup and turn a criticism to a complaint and then into a request.We know have to recognize when our partner isfeeling flooded and how to have successful repair attempts.We take personal responsibility for our actionsand show empathy and say we are sorry and I love you.__________ - Enter your score: 0 – 10
5 – We Have Emotional Integrity and SafetyWe have resolved emotional childhood woundsand know how to manage our emotions.We keep the relationship space safe and never criticize or throw verbal darts at each other.We always tell the truth, even if it hurts and follow through on the promises we make. We accept radical personal responsibility to the relationship and for all of our actions__________ - Enter your score: 0 – 10
6 – We Manage Reactivity in Our RelationshipWe recognize when we are being reactive and can differentiate between our feelings and reactions.We know how our reactions affect our partner.We know how to soothe ourselves when we are reactive We know how to safely make a request for a behavior change from our partner.__________ - Enter your score: 0 – 10
7 – We Have Romance in Our Relationship We know the principles of Romance.We know how our Partner wants to be cared for. We enjoy giving little surprises and giftsto each other on a regular basis.We know our partners need and wantsand get joy and pleasure from satisfying them.We are inspired to make our partner smile everyday.__________ - Enter your score: 0 – 10
__________
8 – We Understand Each Others Emotional Bank AccountWe have told each other how to make deposits.We have told each other what causes withdrawals.We are both committed to make one deposit a day.We have bank holidays and know how to forgive.We have made a list of activities we cando together to make deposits into our Relationship bank account__________ - Enter your score: 0 – 10
9 – We Have Developed a Deep ConnectionWe know how to listen, mirror, and validate each other.We empathize, respect and appreciate each other.We allow our partner to be their true selvesWe acknowledge and champion each other. We give unconditional support and inspire each other and keep the relationship space sacred.__________ - Enter your score: 0 – 10
10 – We Have a Fulfilling Sexual RelationshipWe tell each other our needs and wishes andwe are inspired to fulfill them for each other.We take the time to assist each other equallyto fully enjoy the experience together.We have deep intimacy before sex.We know how to gently and safelyrequest a sexual behavior change.__________ - Enter your score: 0 – 10
__________ - Your Total Review Score
If your total score is between:
80 -100: Green light - Congratulations, you and your partner have developed a Life Partnership that you are enjoying.
50 - 79: Yellow light - You and your partner have areas that need to be worked on. I suggest sitting down together and develop a relationship plan to address the areas that scored low.
0 - 49: RED LIGHT - Your relationship could potentially be in serious trouble. I suggest you both commit to take a serious look at the problem areas and do what ever it takes to make the relationship better.
So, Are you ready to be:
"Best Friends during the DayLovers at Night andPartners for Life” ©
Glenn Cohen©“I-TO-WE” Relationship Coaching© / www.i-to-we-relationship-coaching.com

Revealing 5 Strategies to Own Your Life

Simplify Your Life -

By Kunbi Korostensky

Do you own your life or does it own you?
If you're struggling with your life, this could be an indication that you're making your life much too difficult than it needs to be.
You're here to live a life of joy and abundance. To experience a rich inner life of recognition and inspiration which should translate into your outer world.
If this is not the case, you can redirect the course of your life by applying these 5 proven strategies.
1. Live fully in the present. Simplify your life by living consciously in the moment. The present has so much to offer you. It is in the present that you can lay the foundation for the rewards of your dreams in the future, not in the past. To do this, bestir yourself sufficiently in the right way by taking one step at a time.
To live fully in the present, you need to experience every minute of your life inwardly and not just outwardly. This means, grasping aright deeply within yourself the experience of the moment before moving on. This safeguards against taking on too much at any time and getting overwhelmed. Which often develops into struggle.
2. Do what comes naturally to you. Get into the habit of first doing what comes naturally to you and polishing it up. When you do this often enough, in time you'll be able to handle other difficult matters with lesser efforts.
This is because your becoming disciplined and adept in one area of your life, equipes you with the necessary tools to tackle other challenging areas more effectively. The result is greater competence and deeper satisfaction.
3. Have a heart full of joy and appreciation. A joyful and appreciating heart has no room for fear. Fear is always an indication of a sense of lack. This could be conscious or subconscious.
I have observed that people whose hearts surge with joy of deep appreciation and gratitude feel only love. Even in the face of grave calamity, as in the case of bereavement, there are always things you could be grateful for. Like taking comfort in knowing that the you are never alone. Something I was vividly reminded of when I suddenly lost my own mother.
4. Move with ease into any change as a natural happening. Life IS. Meaning, it is in constant motion. To own your life, you need to accept this fact. Trying to evade or to negate changes is the least smart way of becoming masterful at the game of life.
A question for you. Can you stop the sun from shinning after a raging storm or stop the dawn of a new day breaking in at the end of the night? Right. You can see how ludricous my question is. This is to underline the foolishness of wanting to control the cycle of changes in your life at any time. It simply is impossible and only results in more struggles.
The wisest thing to do is to stay open for changes and deal with them when they appear. Remember the expression never to go looking for trouble, it will find you? So just be in the NOW!
5. Trust and follow your intuition to the letter. Residing within you is a wealth of knowledge. The key to unlocking this treasure is your intuitive power. People who have learned to access their intuition before making any decision live in harmony with their environment.
My own life completely changed from second guessing myself when I truly began to listen to my intuition. I now have a sense of profound joy and clarity as I remain congruent with my values. The more you learn to trust and follow your intuition, the more control you'll have over your life.
What you thereby gain are strong emotional balance, mental and psychic alertness to guide you to a life of bliss and prosperity.
As you can see, you don't have to become enslaved to your life. For life is meant to be simple, provided you become aware of what is wrong and change it.

What Will Be Your Legacy?

By Gary Simpson

As I was working on my website yesterday I was listening to the radio. A song came on and I started to sing along with the words. It was Elvis Presley singing "In the Ghetto." I have to admit I like Elvis very much and I am always pleased to hear his songs. I have quite a few of his albums and a little bit of his memorabilia too. The song finished and I kept tapping away at my keyboard.

After a while I switched off the radio and left my office to make myself a cup of tea. As I walked through to the kitchen I glanced at the television in the family room and there he was again - Elvis. It was one of the few Elvis movies that I have not seen over the years - "Frankie and Johnny," filmed in 1966. I watched it for a few minutes while I drank my tea. However, because it was more than half finished when I sat down, I decided not to watch the rest of it. My computer and website awaited me.
So I sat down and switched the radio on again. Within half an hour I'm mouthing the words to "Love Me Tender." By now you are probably wondering what I am leading to. Stay with me. I have a very interesting point to make.

I got to thinking - Elvis on the radio, Elvis on the TV, then Elvis on the radio again - and this was just in little old Perth, Western Australia. I then wondered how many other radio and television stations around the world would feature Elvis Presley that day. Then I marveled at how many times this wonderful singer, who died more than 35 years ago, was being listened to or watched and by how many people.
What I am getting at here is the body of work that this one man has left and the joy that he still brings to millions of people every year. Here is a man, even in death, who is still contributing to the world.
So, I ask you this. What legacy will you leave? What will you be remembered for? What body of work will survive your passing?

Get to it, my friend, write that book, sing that song, paint that picture, finish that sculpture. Do your thing, whatever it might be. Achieve your life goals. Create a legacy for others to enjoy. An added bonus is that you too will enjoy the fruits of your labour while you are still alive. You can do it. Millions of others have. Why not you? Elvis did. (Breathe in, deep voice) "As the snow flies..."

This article comes with reprint rights providing no changes are made and the resource box below accompanies it.

The Power of Beliefs

By Ann Ronan

Your beliefs shape your life. How’s your life right now? Any areas you’d like to change? If there are, you have the key – your beliefs. Even more amazing is that it’s really not that tough to change your beliefs. It can happen in an instant. I know. I’ve changed lots of them. Change your thinking, change your life. I’ve proved it –several times over.

Now – while I’m a natural optimistic, I also have a brain that likes science, truth, and proof. And I’m happy to report that science is starting to find evidence for this belief business.
Dr. Bruce Lipton, cell biologist and author of the “The Biology of Belief: Unleashing the Power of Consciousness” says that we are not victims of our genes but are co-creators of our lives and our biology. He finds his evidence in the relatively new field of science called epigenetics. Let me give you just a taste of this science. Science used to think that a cell’s nucleus, which contains the DNA, was the brain of the cell and absolutely necessary to its functioning. Well, they’ve since found that they can remove the nuclei from cells and yet they continue to live and function. It turns out that the real ‘brain” of the cell is the membrane, which reacts to and responds to outside influences, adjusting to an ever-changing environment. This environment includes our thoughts – what we are unconsciously telling our genes to do.

Ok, so what does this have to do with changing your life for the better? Well bear with me a bit more in the scientific realm. Our perceptions are in the subconscious which controls 95 percent of our life. And like an iceberg, most of this is underneath the ocean, out of our site, out of our awareness. Our conscious mind processes a much more limited amount of information and is busy keeping us safe while we drive our cars, cook dinner and check our emails. Much of what’s in your subconscious was programmed in there during your first six years of life. And for many of us, most of these subconscious thoughts are pretty darned limiting.
So how to change those thoughts that are limiting? Here are the techniques I’ve used:
Visualization – creating images of what you’d like, on paper, in your mind, or with words
Visioning – sitting quietly and asking yourself a few questions – letting ideas just bubble up from your inner source, then jotting them down.
Affirmations – short, positive statements to help reprogram your thinking
Meditation – a period of quiet –either letting your thoughts just come and letting them go or contemplating a quote or spiritual passage
Power questions – asking yourself a powerful question – ex. what do I need to do to embrace this new idea?

Role models – finding someone who has already accomplished what you want to do or has qualities you admire and then patterning yourself after this person
Support groups/teams – you get to be heard deeply, get new ideas and have an accountability structure to keep you moving forward
Success! - I find it easier and easier to shift my beliefs as I experience small successes along the way – you will too!
If you’d like to learn how to use these practices fully in your life, you may want to join my weekly study group by telephone on Tuesdays: register here: www.authenticlifeinstitute.com – click on join study group.

Copyright 2005 Ann Ronan

Feeling Whole Again by Reaffirming What You are Truly Feeling

Communication:

By Gina Kovacs

We know, as people despite geographical location, that relationships, especially with those we love, are not always a picnic through the park. We have our good times and our bad times; cliché, cliché as we circle through a myriad of emotions that can leave us at the whim of our own destruction or affirmation of who we are and what we stand for.

Digging a little deeper, how many times have we experienced a range of emotions from unhappiness, disgust, anger, crazed yelling, quietness to tears and sleepless nights only to face the daylight without so much as a resolution or honest conversation with the person you love regarding issues that are clearly bothering you. Instead of feeling better, you feel out of touch with yourself, the world, your day and the person you love.
Sadly enough, I have watched people experience these range of feelings that take many hours or days for them to overcome; in some cases, a week or more. Stubborness, refusing to “give in” to “weakness”, there is a period of loss time, precious time, before reconciliation and understanding occurs so that a re-connection can be made and the relationship you cherish is ignited once again.

Let me reach out to you now and state that this simply does not have to occur. At the very core of who we are, we know we are emotional human beings who feel every imaginable feeling... we feel. I can smile a bit here because I have, not too long ago, told my husband this. We feel happiness, joy, anger, love, passion, sadness, discomfort, contentment... we feel. But when the wheel starts turning and you find you are going in a direction that is not being recovered quickly... the shadows cast upon you have turned from grey to black with no looking back…it’s time to put those emotions in check with the reality of what you are truly experiencing.
Past the emotions, we are also thinking beings. We feel, but we always connect our emotions to what is occurring right then and right there in your present life. We have past experiences, to be sure, that somehow mingle into our current experiences, but our current experiences are action moments shaped by the hear and now…what you have now and the choices you make now in your world.

With the past set aside, often our “stormy experiences” stem from our need to express how we are feeling, what our needs are, and our hopes are. Feeling vulnerable to expression of ones deepest desires and thoughts can grip the very heart of a person who spends much of their time defending who they are or, on the opposite side of the tracks, who they feel they need to be in order to be validated by loved ones, peers, co-workers and the like. But, like the cartoon character Popeye said “I am what I am and that’s all that I am.” You do not need to prove yourself to anyone, you just need to be. To live, to feel, to express, and to reach out to those you love when that ground begins to shake. To live honestly, to express honestly... there is no better way to live than this.
A client of mine has had quite a bit of a challenge communicating with her son. Her son is 14 and going through some changes, seeking his ground for independence. With her frustration, confusion, and sadness over the strain in their relationship, what began to surface was the fact that her son was growing up and she was feeling her role as a loving mother and caretaker was being swept away under the carpet, leaving her missing the open and carefree experiences she once had with her child. The son, on the other hand, did not understand why his mother was so frustrated with him. He was living his life, doing his schoolwork, and for all practical purposes, conducting himself as any typical teenager.

Ah, the teenage years. Well, when the mother and son sat down in my office and talked, the mother revealed her need to be more a part of her son’s world and that with him growing up it appeared that he did not need her as he once did. She explained that she missed spending time with him and wanted to be able to take in a movie or play Play Station games as they once did before the school season started and his relationships began to build once again with his peers. The son stated that with all the homework that was being given, after he finished his schoolwork all he wanted to do was go to his room and read and watch a little TV before he went to sleep. In reality, he missed having fun with his Mom and siblings as much as his Mom missed spending those quality moments with him! After all was said and done, we discovered evenings were really rushed for all family members and steps were taken to recommit to family dinners where quality time could be experienced, where weekends were given “family time” priority instead of running errands and feeling rushed during Saturdays and Sundays with Mom and Dad partnering in with the son to become more in tuned with what his scholastic life was like.

Open up and share your heart with those you love. Feel free to be who you are and do not apologize when you do. Yes, we feel all emotions. Take the time needed to understand why you experience those stormy moments and reach out instead of retreating into your corner of the world. Often, a hug, just one moment of connecting with the eyes and honest words expressing your feelings can bring the relationship back on track in the wink of an eye.

Steps to Calm the Stormy Seas

1. Breathe- the challenge is not going to swallow you up. There is an answer looming in the distance, reach for it.
2. Remember that a loved one is not the enemy. If you love them and feel any emotion for them, they are worth the time it takes to talk…be true to yourself for yourself and for the person whom you desire to reconnect with.
3. Hug. Close connection is important. If not a moment to hug, how about holding hands or quietly going for a walk? The last thing you want to do is walk away in anger or give the cold shoulder…remember, you love the person no matter what you are experiencing.
4. Communicate with honesty. Your feelings are signals. Only you know what is truly causing the storm. Express what troubles your heart and soul. Ask questions, listen for answers and move forward towards reconciliation.
5. Be able to receive honest communication. Allow communication to flow both ways. Move forward towards solutions; never let the storm rise again once you are on the path towards calming the waters. Be committed to getting to the heart of the matter because you love and care for the other. Your strength and determination out of love will help the other reach out to you in turn.
6. When the storm subsides, move forward. Moments are wasted recalling storms…move forward to a brighter and fulfilling future.
Remember, I am here to help you any way I can….live in the present, move towards the future and know storms come and go, but love lives forever.

Who Am I Being ?

by: William Frank Diedrich

Who am I being right now? Who was I being in that situation? These are questions I ask myself every day? I want to know. If I am interacting and the interaction feels uncomfortable--who am I being that this feels so bad? Over the years I have created many images of myself which I find myself defending, attacking, or portraying to others. In my book, The Road Home, I call these false views of self. The Arbinger Institute, authors of Leadership and Self Deception (a must read book), call these self justifying images. A few weeks ago I found myself in a conversation where the other person became very impatient with me. I, then, became impatient with her impatience. I called attention to her impatience and made it clear I didn't like it.

The next day I asked myself: "Who was I being that the person talking to me became very impatient?" The answer came: "I'm the kind of person who deserves to be treated with respect". This person wasn't giving me what I deserved, so obviously she was out of line. This is the kind of thinking that gets us into more conflict. A Course in Miracles says there are only two kinds of thinking--love and fear. In love, I am caring and responsive toward myself and others. I am able to see the good in the other person. In fear I feel threatened and resistant both toward myself and the other. I tend to add up the faults of the other person and, of course, affirm my virtues. I tell myself this other person is disrespectful, impatient, unappreciative of me, and doesn't listen. I tell myself that I am respectful, communicating well, and would never treat her disrespectfully. This is how the image justifies itself. Does this sound a little silly? I hope so, because it is silly. It is also common, everyday, insane communications between people. Here's the rule of thumb: if I think someone else is a problem person, then I'm the problem. This doesn't mean people don't do inconsiderate and even horrible things. This doesn't mean that I never talk to someone else about their poor behavior. It means that my discomfort, my anger, my resentment, and my irritation are not about them. Who am I being that I felt and spoke and acted the way I did?

As Stephen Covey has said: "How you see the problem is the problem.". Yet, it goes beyond perception. It's who I am being that is the problem. If I am going through my day and I feel great, my relationships feel great, and I feel in alignment with my Self I get to say, "Great! I'm doing it. I'm in the flow. I'm responding to people and to life. I'm expressing love." If things aren't going well, people are impatient with me, and I feel uncomfortable, I get to ask myself the question: "Who am I being that these things are happening?" Am I the kind of person who prizes suffering? Do I maintain it by refusing to forgive others? Am I the kind of person who likes drama? Am I starring in a drama where everyone else is wrong and I, alone, am right? Am I the hero who is going to set everyone else straight? Who am I being? There are many self justifying images that people create. Examples include "I am the kind of person who is hardworking (not lazy), compassionate (not selfish), smart (not stupid) or not appreciated (for all that I do). We find these images in areas where we are particularly sensitive, defensive, or emotional. My example is the image that I am the kind of person who deserves respect. If this is the image I am managing then I will be on the lookout for disrespect. When I think I'm getting disrespect I will be angry, resentful, irritated. I will tend to interpret the moods of others as disrespect toward me. Wherever I carry this self justifying image I will spend my energy demanding respect rather than giving it. I will focus my energy on me rather than the other person. I will resist people rather than responding to them. I will feel threatened and fearful, and my behavior will arise from a place of fear and threat. If a person offers me disrespect, my demand for respect will not encourage respectful behavior. It will invite disrespect. But, you may ask: "Don't you deserve respect? What does one do when receiving disrespect? How do we motivate someone to be respectful?" These are good questions. A Course in Miracles says that fear is a call for love. I have the option whether or not to answer the call. I answer the call by responding. I respond by taking the focus off me and putting it on the other person. I may ask what the problem is. I might tell the other person to back off. I may sense a deeper issue in the person and speak to it. I may let it go and not say anything. It is not what I do that makes the difference. It is who I am being in that moment. If I am responding from a place of caring about the well being of this person; of acknowledging their needs and concerns being as important as my own; and of doing what intuitively feels right, then I will respond with love. Whether my behavior is soft or hard is not important. Love can be either. Responsiveness can be either. This is not about portraying myself as a caring person (another self justifying image). It is about actually caring. It can be difficult to get past our self justifying images because we have spent so many years crafting and protecting them. The truth is, these images are a lot of work to keep up. We must be constantly vigilant and on the defense. Wouldn't it be great to let go of the job of image management and just respond to people. Once you have decided to become aware of self justifying images and let them go the results are immediate. You extend an open invitation to all others to do the same. A sense of ease flows through you. Relationships become easier when you are responding, recognizing the humanity in others, and seeing the good in them. Others begin changing because you have given them someone different to respond to. Your love inspires, uplifts, and enlivens each person you encounter. It's not what you do for others that uplifts them; it is who you are being.

About The Author
William Frank Diedrich is a speaker, executive coach and the author of three books, including The Road Home: The Journey Beyond the Spiritual Quick Fix, 30 Days to Prosperity, and Beyond Blaming. To learn more about his books, services, and free gifts go to http://transformativepress.com.

Happiness is something many of us strive for.

Happiness: The Quest

by: Lambert Klein

Why is it so hard to achieve, especially at times when you need it the most? How do we change a gloomy mood into a lighter or happier one? There are some things within our power that will help us accomplish these goals. What are some benefits of happiness that could encourage you to work towards it even more? • Health • Self Confidence • A sense of Purpose • More Productivity • Achieve Your Goals • Weight Loss Funny thing is that the above list also works in reverse. If you are healthy, self confident and all the rest listed, than you will most likely be happier. Sometimes happiness is staring us right in the face. Here are some ways that you can create happiness in your life. Exercise: It appears that exercising comes up a lot when we are speaking about improving various things in our lives. It has been shown to improve mood by making us healthier and increasing endorphins.

Foods & Diet: Eating chocolate is probably more of a pleasure than sustained happiness, even though it can provide us with a short-lived boost. A healthy diet though is vital for our health and happiness. Too much sugar and junk foods are provisional emotional boosters. In the long run these problem foods will degrade us physically as well as emotionally. Eat a healthy diet with plenty of fruits and vegetables, including raw veggies. Cut back on unhealthy foods and don't "Super Size" it. Supplements: If you are not receiving all of your nutrients in your diet then you may want to supplement by taking vitamins. There are some specific supplements that target your mood. You could discuss these with your health practitioner. Music: Music can bring miracles to your mood. Go ahead and listen to something upbeat and happy. Rewards: Happiness comes from rewards as well. They can be simple things.

You find a great bargain on something you been wanting. Maybe someone offers you a simple item of interest. You do a task and are complimented on it by someone else or yourself. Even finding a coin on the sidewalk can give you a "Reward" feeling that can bring happiness to you. The greatest reward can come from giving a compliment to someone or saying a kind word. Gratitude: Be grateful for what you have. This simple statement can make a giant difference in your life! Everyday think of everything you have. The enormous things, and the little things. Are you living in a cardboard box? No. Then be very grateful. Yes? Be grateful for the cardboard box. Have gratitude for friends and family, the home you live in, the food you eat. Isn't it great having air to breath, freedom to go where you want. Don't take these for granted but have gratitude and give thanks. Love: Well Love can clearly bring happiness. Love for your spouse, friends, neighbors and strangers.

Give Love and you will receive Love. Learn to Love Yourself. Let's all remember that when we interact with others. Enjoyment: Do what you enjoy. This could be a hobby or going for a walk in the park. If you do things that you like it's bound to bring happiness. Forgiveness: Try a bit harder to say kind words to others. Place yourself in the other's person place for a moment. Sure there are some people that act so mean and hateful. Remember you only hurt yourself when you return meanness or hold resentment and anger inside. Help Others: Find ways to make others happy. You may be surprised that by willingly helping others to find joy can have a positive impact on you as well. Help others to find meaning in life. Keep them company. Build Self Confidence: Do your work the best you can. Learn new skills. Find meaning in your career and life. Enjoy a new hobby or game.

You can boost your self-confidence by learning new and enjoyable things. Raise your self-confidence and you raise your happiness. Happiness can make you smarter! Is it really surprising that positive attracts positive? If you do these things you will increase your happiness. What is the most important thing to you? Is it money, a fancy car or a mansion, maybe your health? What about happiness? Well let's think a moment…. If you have happiness, all the happiness you want or need, would that be the most important thing to you? What good is money or the rest without happiness? If you are truly happy you won't need to worry about the rest. If you require money to be happy then you will have it. Maybe the saying, "Money Can't Buy Happiness", should be "Happiness Can Produce Money". Try to release all anger and negative emotions. You can accomplish this easier once you realize you are only hurting yourself and other loved ones around you. Sure it will take regular practice. You may struggle with this, but it can become second nature after awhile. It's up to you. Do you want to be negative and unhappy or positive and learn to be happier? You can start now by adding positive attributes to your life. Be good, smile and put on a happy face!

About The Author
Lambert Klein is the owner and founder of Articles Mall. You can find other articles at: http://www.articlesmall.com/

John E. Sarno is Professor of Clinical Rehabilitation

, MD, (1923-) Medicine, New York University School of Medicine, and attending physician at the Howard A. Rusk Institute of Rehabilitation Medicine, New York University Medical Center. His two most well-known books are Healing Back Pain: The Mind-Body Connection (ISBN 0-446-39230-8) and The Mindbody Prescription: Healing the Body, Healing the Pain (ISBN 0-446-67515-6). He pioneered the diagnosis of tension myositis syndrome (TMS) as a mindbody disorder causing chronic back, neck and limb pain in patients for which standard medical treatments were not working, and has treated over ten thousand of his patients at the Rusk Institute for over three decades by educating them on his beliefs in a psychological and emotional basis to their pain.

In April, 2006, his latest book, The Divided Mind: The Epidemic of Mindbody Disorders (ISBN 0-06-085178-3) was published, addressing the entire spectrum of psychosomatic (mindbody) disorders, and describing the history of psychosomatic medicine. While some in mainstream medicine consider his approach controversial, at 83 years of age he is still seeing patients.

The Mindbody Prescription: Healing the Body, Healing the Pain

Dr. John E. Sarno reveals how most painful conditions are rooted in unexpressed emotions, and how to cure these disorders without drugs, therapy, or surgery. According to Dr. Sarno, most pain is a psychogenic expression of unconscious rage, the brains way of distracting you from repressed feelings. By changing the treatment focus from the body to the mind, he argues that pain can be abolished simply by understanding its purpose. This book reveals how emotions stimulate the brain to produce physical symptoms, describes these emotionally induced ailments, and offers a therapeutic program.

Death of Walt Disney

Walt Disney's grave site. Songwriter Robert B. Sherman said about the last time he saw Walt Disney:“ He was up in the third floor of the animation building after a run-through of The Happiest Millionaire. He usually held court in the hallway afterward for the people involved with the picture. And he started talking to them, telling them what he liked and what they should change, and then, when they were through, he turned to us and with a big smile, he said, 'Keep up the good work, boys.' And he walked to his office.

It was the last we ever saw of him.[4] ” Disney's involvement in Disney World ended in late 1966; after many years of chain-smoking cigarettes, he was diagnosed with lung cancer. He was checked into the St. Joseph's Hospital across the street from the Disney Studio lot and his health began to deteriorate, causing him to suffer cardiac arrest.He died on December 15, 1966 at 9:30am, ten days after his 65th birthday. He was cremated December 17, 1966 and his ashes reside at the Forest Lawn Laboratory in Glendale, California. Roy O. Disney continued to carry out the Florida project, insisting that the name be changed to Walt Disney World in honor of his brother.

Do you ever wonder why some people excel in life while others seem to fade away.

People Who Impacted Our Worlds

What makes one persons life more fulfilling that another. I have been studying this my whole life . What did these people do that made them great thinkers, achievers, leaders, writers and philanthropists.

What was it that made them persistent. Was it fear or reward. Somehow these great people left their imprint on the world that the majority of us cant or wont. This web site honors those alive and from the past who have had a impact on our lives, those few Heroes that make our live easier and less complicated.

Visit us at http://heros4u.com/

What Belief Do You Choose to Engage

Abundance or Scarcity: ?

By Leanne Hoagland-Smith

For the last several years, I have included on my email signature the following salutation “Peace and Abundance.” This is a daily reminder that my success begins with how I engage my beliefs. For I know that it is my beliefs that drive my behaviors.
During a conference, one of my mentors shared a very simple exercise that I now use with my clients to demonstrate the power of how our beliefs guide what we shall receive. He asked those in the audience to take a sheet of paper and on the left side write the letter B for Birth and on the right side write the letter D for Death. Upon completion of this task, he then asked, “What was in between?” Answers varied from life to troubles. In his coy and quiet southern accent, he acknowledged every answer as being good, but not quite the one he was seeking. Eventually, he stated that what existed in-between birth and death was “just a matter of inconvenience.”

How many times have you visited the local gas station in the morning, swiped your credit card and upon completion of filling your tank, you failed to receive the requested receipt? The electronic message is displayed, Please see cashier. Maybe, if you were like me, you stomped up to the cashier’s counter with not the most pleasant face and waited in line. As you waited, you looked to your watch and counted the minutes that this delay was costing you. Then, maybe, you gruffly said something like “The pump said I needed to see you for the receipt” or “My receipt didn’t print!” The harried cashier printed out the receipt, you grabbed it, quickly mumbled “thank you” and walked out in a huffy hurry. As you entered your car, you were still very upset and those thoughts stayed with you most of the day.

Now, by engaging a mentality of peace and abundance, where we accept that we will face daily inconveniences, life begins to change. Yes, machines still fail to print receipts. However, now when you enter the gas station, you receive a smile from the cashier because you engage the belief that this is ‘no big deal.” Your attitude of peace and abundance has infected the cashier and she offers you a free coffee as well as an apology for your inconvenience. You calmly walk back to you car, receipt in hand and accept this minor inconvenience for exactly what it is – a minor inconvenience. You choose not to engage in a mentality of conflict and scarcity. The day begins with peace and abundance. Just imagine how far everyday you can go by engaging beliefs of abundance instead of scarcity?

Personally, I can attest that since engaging these positive beliefs of peace and abundance, I have received not only the pleasure of a smile, but offers of free coffee and even money. However, what is really incredible is that I now begin the morning engaged with myself and in control of what I allow to affect me.
As always, the choice is yours to make and yours to live with.

Copyright 2005(c) Leanne Hoagland-Smith, www.processspecialist.com
Free to reprint this article. Permission to publish this article, electronically or in print, as long as the bylines are included, with a live link, and the article is not changed in any way (grammatical corrections accepted).

Take a Chance, Win a Prize

By: Damien Senn
I think that we're all probably familiar with the fairground rant 'take a chance, win a prize'. Whenever I hear this call to action, I immediately break out into a cold sweat. Whether the test is to knock down 6 cans in pyramid formation or to throw a dart at a balloon, I'm there, almost hypnotically, pulling coins out of my pocket. And it doesn't really matter what prizes are on offer either. It could be stuffed panda bears, bubble makers or even Velcro wallets. What's important to me is rising to the challenge and having a go.
Now I know that many of you may have suffered from this ‘fairground fever’ at one time or another. But do you actually take this fearless enthusiasm out into the real world when the carnival is over?

Taking chances
Taking a chance is effectively doing something that has an uncertain payoff. To use our fairground adventure as an example – playing a game where there is a chance you might win a prize and a chance that you might not. Now as nice as it is to win prizes, it is important not to become side tracked into believing that this is the only reason you should play the game, because it isn’t. To become players of life, we need to be continually growing and expanding our capabilities regardless of the outcome.
When we step outside of what is comfortable, not only do we become more adept at assessing risk in the future but our innate ability to handle risk is also greatly enhanced. It is from this space that you will find the prizes of life flowing naturally to you.

Fearless living
Can you remember your last encounter with someone that was truly fearless? Someone brimming with self confidence, unquestionable enthusiasm and the bravado to take seemingly impossible risks? Chances are that person probably couldn't walk, let alone string a sentence together.

That's right, the most fearless people on the planet are the little humans we call children.
You can do anything
When we come into this world, we believe that we can do absolutely anything. We play, we experiment and we push the boundaries of our existence on a daily basis. Why? Because it's fun and because we’re curious about the world that we live in. We constantly search out unexplored frontiers with a wild fascination, often with little consideration for the accompanying risks. Slowly but surely however, most of us become convinced by well meaning adults that we are anything other than invincible.

Become aware of your conditioning
It is said that by the time each of us reaches the age of 5, we have heard the word “no” more than 40,000 times! Can you remember a parent or parental figure telling you to 'be careful' every time you went off to school or to play? Now I am not suggesting for a moment that making children aware of life's dangers isn't a great approach to take as a parent. What I am saying is as a grown adult, become aware of any childhood conditioning that may be holding you back from taking intelligent risks.
Have you ever experienced a time where there was something new that you desperately wanted to try, but for some unidentifiable reason you couldn’t bring yourself to give it a go and you regretted it afterwards? There is a good possibility that this could be linked with your early associations with risk taking. Just remember that we don't always have to play life on the safe side. Often our greatest triumphs come from daring to engage our courage.

Love the game
The secret to taking chances is to reconnect with the fearless little person inside of you. Make life fun again by reawakening the inquisitive parts of you that yearn for growth. Rekindle your drive to be more and do more. Start doing things for the pure joy of the experience. Climb a tree, play hide and seek with your work colleagues and if you pass a puddle on the street don’t step around it, jump in it!
If you can capture this enthusiasm for living you won’t have to worry about the prizes. Your life will become the prize.

About The Author
Damien Senn is a Life and Business Coach as well as a fully qualified Chartered Accountant. He helps professionals, artists and entrepreneurs create compelling futures.
He is the author of the 'Senn-Sational Success Journal' and has developed his own coaching model called the 'Senn-Sational Success System'.
For more information see www.senn-sational.com or email support@senn-sational.com.
damien@senn-sational.com