When death happens to a friend across the globe, one need not travel across the world to extend ones sympathy and condolence to the bereaving family. A simple phone call would suffice. Or better yet, a more formal way for extending support and sympathy for the grieving would be to write a condolence letter.
However, since condolence letters are sent for a very emotional event, condolence letters are sensitive in nature. A condolence letter sender must keep in mind the right words to say to avoid saying one thing and being misunderstood for another.
1. Tribute to the Dead
Aside from consoling the bereaving family, condolence letters are also meant to pay last respects and tribute to the dead. If condolence calls and funeral visits to pay respects for the dead are not possible, a good and punctual condolence letter will suffice for the bereaving family. As a tribute to the beloved dead, condolence letter should contain the name of the dead, how you were related or associated, and a brief account of one or two fond memories you have with the deceased.
2. Console the grieving
The best tone for a condolence letter is to be yourself and speak as though you were consoling the bereaved family in person. There is no use for flowery, high-falutin words. We are writing a condolence letter to the grieving, not a literary masterpiece vying for literary awards. The best condolence letters are simple, sincere and unpretentious.
3. Validate and acknowledge the grief
When writing a condolence letter, it is impolite and rude to pretend the loss never happened or to presume that healing will come easy for the grieving person. Condolence letters are meant to console and support the grieving and every person experiencing an intense emotion would want their feelings acknowledged to be valid by the expression of your own sympathies.
Finding the right words at a time when words are not enough is not easy. But with sincerity, simplicity and support, a few words may just be what a grieving person need to get by.
JB Anthony is the co-webmaster and co-promoter of http://www.guidetofunerals.com To read more on funeral guides, links to funeral homes, funeral-related products and services, tips on writing condolence letters and eulogies, links to books on death, dying, poems on death, and for more articles on dealing with grief, please log on to http://www.guidetofunerals.com
Eastern Buddhism
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