Wednesday, April 16, 2008

How To Stay Positive All Year Long

Ever wonder how 'they' do it? You know the ones, they are positive, always see the glass as half full, and no matter what the situation, they can always find a positive thing to pull from it. How do they do it? What is different in their day to day thinking that allows them to see the good in all?

I have watched, spoken to, listened to, and studied many leaders, who seem to stay positive, and professionals who make it their business to keep in the right frame of mind. I have pulled some bits of advice and information that is free to implement, and some may even save you some money.

One of the most giving things we can do for ourselves is to discover different ways to stay positive throughout the year. I know there are times when I just feel the weight of the world on my shoulders and, I'll be honest with you, last year was probably one of the most challenging years I've ever experienced. But having these outlets really serves to remind me that, in the long run, things are ok.

So, when I started thinking about this topic, the old saying by Timothy Leary came to mind. "Turn On, Tune In, And Drop Out".

By doing these three things in a variety of ways you really can change your thinking and, truly, your life. I'm going to kind of go out of order with the saying so, Mr. Leary, where ever you are, please forgive me.

I'd like to start with Tuning In:

Now the brain is amazing, and even though we don't consciously register everything that is being presented to the brain in the way of sights, sounds, etc, our subconscious does register it. Some things we're just so used to doing we don't even register what we are doing, and that allows some pretty negative messages to get through.

So let's start by tuning in to what messages ARE around us, and what we are receiving. Here are a few examples:

Do you watch the news? Lots of good, happy stuff with that, isn't there? Do you read the paper? More good news, on every page. What do you watch on tv? Crime shows? Reality shows? What are your casual conversations like? What about the magazines you read?

Now, starting immediately, I invite you to go through the day and really pay attention to your actions. How do you talk to yourself? Others? How do you think about others, or yourself? What shows do you watch every night? What is the last thing you read or listen to or watch before going to bed?

Take some time, be aware. That alone may change your life. Once we actually tune in and become aware of where we need to work on staying positive, then we can!

Drop Out:

Now most of you may very well have done a quick once over of your day in those past few moments as you read those examples, looking to see where the weak spots are. Here are the big ones and some of the hardest ones to let go.

1. Stop watching the news. I'm not saying never ever watch the news anymore, but really, in the morning, and evening, every day is really unnecessary, as well as reading the paper, and check on the internet, and so on. Once a week or so is probably more than enough. It's been a proven fact that bad news sells, so it's what is focused on. Almost every expert I have come across who is involved in attitude adjustment, time management, and so on have made this the number one change to make, and to make it immediately. Stop watching.

If you feel you absolutely need to get a dose of daily news, a great website I found recently is www.goodnewsnetwork.org It's news that you won't read in the newspaper for the most part because it's good news, but it's such a breath of fresh air, and helps you to realize there are good things happening in the world.

Along those same lines..

2. Get rid of cable. Better yet, get rid of your television altogether. Now for those who just shut down at that thought, take a deep breath and stay with me here. Trust me, I understand the want for the entertainment. I really do. But for the most part, the programming is unnecessary and a waste of time if it dominates your entire evening. Get rid of it. Think of the money you'll save.

If you can't handle totally getting rid of the television, then just get rid of the cable. At least drop down to basic cable, and I mean basic cable, not the option of 75 channels or more. I know, it will be rough at first, you will more than likely go through withdrawals, I know I did when I couldn't watch some of the programs I had adjusted to watching on a regular basis, but you really will feel the cobwebs clear out of your head after a while. If nothing else, you can sign up for something like Netflix or Blockbuster and get movies in the mail and online.

3. Steer clear of negative conversations, including the ones you have with yourself. If you find the conversation drifting towards being catty, or constant complaining, and we've all done it, stop yourself. These are habits that need to be broken, and a great way to help stop the habit is to wear a rubber band around your wrist. Whenever, you feel the conversation heading in that direction, or you are hard on yourself, snap that band. It will remind you that you are someone who wants to grow in a positive manner and those conversations that tear down someone else or yourself are not allowed anymore.

I've discovered these days that if I do start becoming involved in a negative conversation, I can actually feel a sense of poisoning 5B4and discomfort in myself during the conversation. I know then that it's time to check the conversation and adjust accordingly.

This leads us right into..

4. Keep your distance from dreamstealers, and crazymakers. We all know who they are in our live. They are the ones who say, 'that sounds too hard to do.' Or, 'Why would you want to do that??' Now, you don't have to disown them, just distance yourself a little. Your dreams, goals, and ambitions are important to you and to others in this world. You absolutely do not need someone who is threatened by your ambition to be constantly attempting to quietly sabotage your efforts, whether their intentions are well meaning or not. They are, hands down, the quickest reason we give up our dreams and goals. Tell your dreams and goals to people who will support them, not tear them down.

After the cleansing, the out with the bad, we want to fill the space with good things. Things that will lift us up, and take us higher. This brings us to the final part...turning on. This is my favorite part, because replacing all the icky stuff in your head and heart with the good stuff just feels so nice.

1. Be grateful. Not just at dinner during grace, not just at bedtime during prayer, but all day. Allow thanskgiving to be more than just one day out of the year in your life. A great exercise I do, which is from the book Ask & It is Given by Esther & Jerry Hicks, is called the "Rampage of5B4 Gratitude", and here is how it works:

At any point, but especially during an upset moment, take a quick look around where you immediately are, and find something you are thankful for at that moment. It can be the wedding band on your finger, it can be the shoes on your feet, the car you are driving, the baby you're holding, etc. Recognize why you appreciate it and give thanks. Here's an example:

The other night I was sitting in bed and having an especially rough night. I won't go into details, but let's just say it was one of those nights where you just want to hide. As I sat in bed I remembered the exercise. I looked around the room, and then I thought, 'I love my bed. It's big, it's soft and warm, and is such a heavenly retreat. I am so grateful to have this bed.'

It's as simple as that. Soon, you'll find yourself noticing all sorts of little things to be grateful for, without even thinking about it.

2. Listen to music. It is scientifically proven that music has an effect on your mood. There is a great book called, 'This is Your Brain On Music' that writes about the physical reaction our body has when it comes to music. Music can enhance your mood. Get yourself an I-pod, an mp3, a cd player, whatever, and burn some of your absolutely favorite uplifting songs that you have and listen to it. Regularly.

Now with this, you need to remember the 'tuning in' rule of be mindful of what you are listening to. 5B4If the lyrical content is that of a negative origin, it kind of defeats the purpose. Remember, you want to lift yourself up, not bring yourself down.

Find what fills your heart and soul, musically, and listen to it on a regular basis. Play it loudly and dance. Belt that song out! Let those endorphins rush around!

3. Subscribe to positive daily messages. Let the first things you see when you log into your email is an uplifting message, or thought provoking message that puts you on the right track for the day.

Now there are so many different ones you can subscribe to, but some of my favorites are Bob Proctor, Abraham-Hicks, and Brian Tracy. One of my absolute favorite ones is from Mike Dooley, and he writes them from the perspective of the Universe. I print out quite a few of these and post them. That website it www.tut.com and it's called 'notes from the universe.' I also subscribe to one called the Daily Word, which is on a more spiritual plane.

It's so nice to be able to go to my email in the morning and the first emails I see are those that remind me how great things are.

4. Associate with people who are where you want to be. You Want to be a high up in your networking company? Find your highest upline and get to know them. I remember when someone gave me this challenge last year They said, 'To you want to be successful? Then go find a success story in your town and call that person up.' So I did. I cB68alled him up, and chatted with him for a while. I'm not kidding. I wanted to know what was important to him, how he got to where he is, and so on. It's as easy as that. You'll discover these people these people are always willing to help.

Associating with people who are where you want to be helps you expand your mind and grow. You are able to see a different perspective from people who have done what you want to do. Again, this doesn't mean you have to get rid of all your current friends, family, etc. You never know when you might find your mentor among those new friends.

5. Go to what fills you, spiritually. For some that can be church, for others meditation, it's your life, only you can make that connection. And here's what I mean by that. I'm a trail runner, and years ago I used to live by a trail that I would run on regularly that would take me right by a church. I remember running by the church on Sunday, seeing all the parishioners filing into the church, and thinking, 'that's their church, this is mine.' Being outdoors on those crisp mornings, on the trail with the long blades of grass, drinking in the fresh air was what connected me to my source and allowed me to come alive and be in the moment.

These days, I have discovered a spiritual community that gives me the same feeling. I encourage you to do the same. Doing this really helps lift you on those hard days.

6. Help others. Now, perhaps you just had an immediate thought of, 'I work full time! I have children! Where do you expect me to carve out time to volunteer?!' Well, take a deep breath. How much you time you donate is up to you. It can be 10 hours, 10 minutes or 10 seconds. You will be surprised the impact only a few moments can make.

The other day, the high temps for the day was only about 20 degrees. I was driving home from the store and passed a woman with a young girl, no more than five years old, standing at the bus stop with bags of groceries waiting for the bus. I knew it was going to be a while for the bus to come. After driving down the street I turned around and went back. I picked them up and drove them home. I found out the woman had gone to the store in order to get some medicine for her son who had the flu.

I can't tell you the feeling I had after I had dropped them off and made sure they made it safely into the house. So if you don't feel you have time to volunteer at the local shelter, I invite you to go through your day and as you do, see who you can help even if it's just with a re-assuring smile, or a simple, 'can I help you in any way?'

It will change your mood immensely.

6. Read a book. Find a feel good book! The library is full of books that offer other tips on how to improve on thinking positively, autobiographies about people who overcame the odds, and so on.

One of the books I refer to when I'm feeling a bit down is an58Eything by Jack Canfield. His writings are so uplifting and don't allow for excuses. Perfect! Some of the other books I read when I'm feeling a bit down, Marianne Williamson's 'A Return to Love', Andy Andrew's book, 'The Traveler's Gifts'. Feed your head with the good stuff.

And that's it! It require taking a seminar, or a huge investment, this is one of those things that you can accomplish with just a few changes.

It was mentioned to me recently that many people don't even try to do anything because it just seems too daunting and extreme to try to do it all, but as the experts explained, you don't have to do EVERYthing. By changing just one little thing, you can create a profound effect on your outlook and life. Then when you are comfortable with that small change, you can make another small change, and so on. After a while, you look back on all the small changes you've made and it really adds up.

The goal is to be aware...tune in, find where small changes can be made, and make them. Trust me, you will feel pounds lighter, stand inches taller, and make you smile that much easily.

Jhanna Dawson
Mia Bella's Diamond Team Leader
http://www.creatinglight.net
775.530.1097

1 comment:

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